Have A Good Old Moan....

Zara, I would take a leaf out of intemp's book and find a compromise. Work with them and you might be able to push it a bit further in the future. They want professional, give then professional with a twist and show them it works.

Zara, I would take a leaf out of intemp's book and find a compromise. Work with them and you might be able to push it a bit further in the future. They want professional, give then professional with a twist and show them it works.

I was going to say, I was in a similar situation.  There's no specific references to hair colour in our dress code, but I was told that I could have pink and blue hair as long as I didn't want to go any further than where I currently am.  I was hired with orange hair, so it came as a bit of a surprise that it suddenly became such a big issue.

I do want to go further and make full use of my potential, so I sat down and had a discussion with my line manager.  Any shade of red was agreed.  It didn't matter how bright it was, as long as it was red.

More and more people are coming to me now with requests and projects, and my name is increasingly well thought of in my company.  I've also had people apologise for misjudging me based on my hair colour.  I plan on working my way up in to project management, and when I reach a position I'm happy with, I'll discuss perhaps moving away from the red with my line manager then, whomever they may be.

TL;DR--You do have to play the game, but it doesn't mean you have to compromise who you are entirely in the process.  Ask for a one to one with your line manager, and discuss what would be acceptable.  That way, you'll look like you're taking the request seriously and handling it in a mature manner, whereas if you just play around with different colours until you find one they don't comment on, they'll probably think you're just messing them around and trying to see just how far you can push the boundaries, which really won't bode well for any future promotions.

GREAT so the wig was out of stock all along !!! their website apparently messed up and had incorrect stock levels. sorry but the stock levels are only what you put in, I think she maybe didn't update it. so if I hadn't emailed her TWICE then who knows what would have happened. Apparently they are getting that wig in 'soon' so could pre order or swap my choice. no thanks, money back and I'll buy off eBay in the future. It's such a shame because I'd much rather buy from a UK small business. ah well. lesson learnt. TWICE.

is anyone feeling generous today and feel like swapping bodies for a couple of days? My sickness has *slowed* (ish) but now I am aching EVERYWHERE, I can't sit too long or I'm uncomfortable, walking/standing too long makes me tired and I can't lie down to feel better. Whoever said that pregnancy is the best experience ever LIED, it's horrific, absolutely horrible and I just want to sleep for a week.

I totally agree. Of course I was thrilled i was pregnant and having a baby, but I HATE being pregnant. OMG I hate it. I would literally cry everyday from aches + completely random intense pain in random parts of my body, back hurt all the time, my hands were pretty much constantly numb, woke me up all the time, the puking + nausea, migraines, ZERO energy....And especially when people aren't understanding of it and just think you're being lazy.....or say "So-n-so has 3 kids and she's pregnant and she's fine!" or friends that are pregnant at the same time posting on facebook "Running errands then setting up the nursery then working out then grocery shopping then making dinner then going to the mall then making a quilt then going out later!" Um, I was lucky if I could summon the energy to do basic household stuff or brush my teeth without puking lol. I hope it gets better for you! Pregnancy is HARD, some women have it easy peasy and feel at their best while pregnant, and some feel like crap all the time. How far along are you now?

Thank you meeshybop, janineb and Intempestivity for your advice.

I'm working super hard. My head hurts every day ): I've never concentrated so hard on anything in my life. I really want to achieve and have a real career. It's just sad. I'm worried about keeping it this pink. I'm abit of a worry wart tbh. I'm more concerned about getting better at my job than my hair tbf. By saturday, I'll have exceeded my target as long as the customers answer their phone xD.

I'm not sure what compromise I can do besides toning it down as my manager asked which I'm planning on doing tomorrow on my day off. I've seen two people yesterday with mainly black hair and a bright coloured fringe (I saw a gentleman with turquoise fringe and a lady with light to medium purple fringe). So maybe if it's just a fringe, it's fine. My manager really nice and friendly. I think someone may have said it shows the bank in a bad light or something, it's just weird because no one sees me besides managers and people on the phones.

I saw the top dog (my managers managers manager) in my office yesterday, he's really friendly and didn't seem to have an issue, he just said my hairs bright and just chatted to me while getting a cuppa tea.

That sounds cool, Intempestivity. I want to be a manager, I think it'd be a good few years before I go for a managerial role at the moment, everyone whose been at my work for 2+ years say it takes about a 9 months to a year to get to grips with the job. It's very demanding.

I hope so. I just find it demoralising that a hair colour is that important. It's mad at work at the moment, my managers run off her feet. On my next 1-1 I'll have a chat with her and make sure my hair is okay and check what is acceptable and what isn't.
I wouldn't mess around until they don't comment. On my next colour adventure, I'll double check with my manager just incase. I asked about colour/piercing/tattoos when I was in training so it's only been 3 months but, I'm finding out that real work world and training work world are completely different.

That's a shame meeshybop, and I hope you both feel better soon Deloria and Katie!

I totally agree. Of course I was thrilled i was pregnant and having a baby, but I HATE being pregnant. OMG I hate it. I would literally cry everyday from aches + completely random intense pain in random parts of my body, back hurt all the time, my hands were pretty much constantly numb, woke me up all the time, the puking + nausea, migraines, ZERO energy....And especially when people aren't understanding of it and just think you're being lazy.....or say "So-n-so has 3 kids and she's pregnant and she's fine!" or friends that are pregnant at the same time posting on facebook "Running errands then setting up the nursery then working out then grocery shopping then making dinner then going to the mall then making a quilt then going out later!" Um, I was lucky if I could summon the energy to do basic household stuff or brush my teeth without puking lol. I hope it gets better for you! Pregnancy is HARD, some women have it easy peasy and feel at their best while pregnant, and some feel like crap all the time. How far along are you now?

I'm 12 weeks exactly now so my sickness is supposed to stop now, pffrt. I'm so glad I'm not on my own though, even Sam who is so excited and is looking after me really well dear of him is getting frustrated with me being like 'ugh, pass me my drink that is JUST past my fingers' I'm not being lazy I just can't move. The midwife yesterday said I was anaemic so at least I know that's why I have no energy but it doesn't suddenly give me more! My hands have been numb as well and my midwife seemed really confused when I said that and told me to book a separate appointment about it, hmmm. I had a scare just over a week ago where the bottom half of my arm went numb and my mouth and tongue as well, I just started crying I thought I was having a stroke but instead just got a migraine - Happy New Year eh? 😉 My sister is pregnant as well at the moment and when I called to tell her my news she was all chirpy and enthusiastic and I sounded like a zombie and she was like 'oh i know I've been so sick' I was just like 'uhm, you sound like you have life in you....!!'

I've read that between 3-4 months is when the nausea eases up, but some are sick throughout the whole pregnancy, like I was. With Violet, month 8 it eased up a little bit but then the closer I got to my due date I kept getting more and more nauseous. There is a drug called Zofran that i WISHWISHWISH I had known about while I was pregnant, EITHER of the times. I learned about it during my last c section. I seriously felt like I was going to puke and they gave it to me and I immediately felt better (it was in IV form). My sister in law was rxd it during her 2nd pregnancy though she told me, and she said it was a LIFE saver. She lost 40 lbs her first 4.5 months because she couldn't keep anything down and after the Zofran she was fine. I don't know if they only rx it in extreme cases like that? It's definitely something to ask about though, and do some research to make sure it's safe and you would feel your baby is safe if you were to take it, which I'm sure you would do anyway 🙂

As far as the numbness goes, it's totally normal to have it in your hands/arms/fingers, because you swell when you're pregnant and that puts pressure on your blood vessels and whatnot. My hands and fingers were numb like, 23 hours out of the day the last 3 months I was pregnant with Violet, with Logan it wasn't as much but it was still awful. The numbness started at about 3 months and just got worse. With your mouth and tongue though I'm not sure about that, I would ask your dr about it, but I wouldn't be surprised if it was normal. It seems like so much discomfort is "normal" with pregnancy lol.

I'm covered in numbing cream, this can only mean one thing...blood tests 🙁

I won a pair of tickets to see James Arthur this weekend but can't go 🙁 I can't even give the tickets to anyone else as it has to be me who picks them up and attends the show  🙁 I am not a happy bunny.

So. Frustrated.

I know my Mum means well, but she treats me like my 2 other sisters when they got pregnant, and they aren't the brightest sparks...but I'm not a stupid person. I fully understand sleeping/eating well and why it's important, I do not need it explained to me as if I'm 6.

Also, I sent her a list of the 'necessaries' I'm going to need to be buying over the next few months and the reply I got was 'I'll write a list and we can compare' what on EARTH could be different to almost every item on the mothercare website?! RARGH!!!!  *cat* *nono* -r-

AND if she even thinks of putting a highchair on that list I'm going to hit her over the head with a highchair!! Bloody baby will not be sitting in a highchair straight away, so I will NOT be needing one by July!!

Oye Deloria, that does sound frustrating.  Just by what I know of you on this website, you are extremely intelligent, so I would guess you've got preparations all under control and you really don't need to be told everything from A to Z!

I'd say your mother's comments are probably not because she thinks you don't know better, it's probably because she's a mother and she might need to hear herself tell you, like she did with your other sisters.  She also probably wants to feel like she's advising you well and wants to feel involved as well!

I'm sure she means well, but the way it sounds to you is like she thinks you don't know better.  Hopefully with time, and the more she sees you've got things covered, she can start changing how she relates to you during your pregnancy and treat you more like a friend than someone who needs so much guidance.  And when it comes down to it, your success is only yours, not hers, so even though she may want to feel involved, you'll be doing all the work and making the final decisions... it's your life and your baby!

Rune Factory 4's European release was cancelled.  *ott*

I saw this comming after the creators of Rune Factory had to declare bankruptcy, but it's such a downer. I can't import the game from the US because of stupid region locked 3DS. *sulks in a corner*

Oye Deloria, that does sound frustrating.  Just by what I know of you on this website, you are extremely intelligent, so I would guess you've got preparations all under control and you really don't need to be told everything from A to Z!

I'd say your mother's comments are probably not because she thinks you don't know better, it's probably because she's a mother and she might need to hear herself tell you, like she did with your other sisters.  She also probably wants to feel like she's advising you well and wants to feel involved as well!

I'm sure she means well, but the way it sounds to you is like she thinks you don't know better.  Hopefully with time, and the more she sees you've got things covered, she can start changing how she relates to you during your pregnancy and treat you more like a friend than someone who needs so much guidance.  And when it comes down to it, your success is only yours, not hers, so even though she may want to feel involved, you'll be doing all the work and making the final decisions... it's your life and your baby!

I know she's only looking out for me, and I shouldn't complain, just when it's every day and small things as well I just want to shout at her 'I moved out 9 years ago, I'm fully capable of looking after myself' but I know that would only upset her.

I went round and looked at her 'comparable' list and it was exactly the same apart from the regular things I can buy at the local shop like wet wipes or talc and one thing that she had wanted to buy, which I wouldn't have needed on my list anyways, that really bugged me lol.

I wish my family would support my choice to move away and be happy for me.